How to Deal with A Spouse Who’s Sharing Child Custody
Married couples face a lot of issues, and some of them are issues that partners carry from their past. One of these issues is when a spouse has children from a divorced marriage, and has shared custody of the children. Shared custody requires some adjustments from all sides: the children, the children’s parents and the spouse of one of the parents.
What is shared custody?
For starters, let’s define shared child custody. This form of child custody means that both parents have equal rights of access to the child. Shared child custody has two types: physical custody and legal custody. Physical custody is the setup where the child can spend time with both parents, even though at different houses or locations. Legal custody is the right of a parent to decide the child’s upbringing, schooling and medical treatment. Shared custody can be either one of these or both.
What are the issues with a spouse having shared custody?
For people who has not gone through a divorce, or had children themselves, shared child custody can come in as a shock. Having a child suddenly living with you and sharing your home can take some adjusting to. Another issue would be the financial aspect; shared custody also means that your spouse is obligated to pay for child support. This could cause some strain especially when one is not well-off or are undergoing hard times.
How do you deal with it?
Unless this fact was hidden by your spouse before marriage, you should have done some form of mental and emotional preparation for the arrival of your spouse’s child or children from a previous marriage. The key here is acceptance; that child is as much a part of your spouse’s life as you are. Also, think about the child’s welfare. It helps to know that there are studies that indicate shared custody has good effects on children with divorced parents. About finances, you should include child support in your monthly budget. This would make it easier for you and your spouse to adjust to the added financial burden.
Conclusion
A spouse with shared child custody does present some challenges, but one has to remember that you made the marriage vows in spite of that. Surely, you can find it in your heart to accept this fact about your spouse’s life. Also, consider that shared custody is for the best interests of the child or children.
Photo Credit : obbino
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