How to Deal with the News That You Have a Terminal Disease
After having gone through all the lab tests and medical examinations, you receive a bad report from the doctor. You’ve been diagnosed with a terminal disease, and you know that it means one thing–it doesn’t have a cure. All of a sudden, your mind is flooded by thoughts about loved ones that you are going to leave behind and all the things that you’ve always wanted to do that you will never get the chance to. Your emotions would vary from hopelessness, defensiveness, resentment, and so many other feelings. According to David Kessler, your decisions would change a lot, which is something you should not feel bad about.
Immediate acceptance is not expected of you
According to Swisa psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, it’s quite natural to think that you’ve gotten a wrong diagnosis as you enter into the early stages of the grieving process. Seek a second opinion from a specialist you trust–not that your doctor is less credible, but there’s no harm in trying. In case the second opinion is just a confirmation of your worst fears, what do you do?
Don’t condemn yourself
No matter what you think, this isn’t the time to blame yourself. It wouldn’t help you at all if you hold on to “I should have done this” or “I shouldn’t have been…” The danger of entertaining these thoughts is that it could get you stuck in a stage of denial too long that you might have only more regrets.
Allow yourself to feel sadness, but don’t wallow in it
The word “terminal” has so much finality that you can expect a flood of extreme emotions. It would be unusual not to feel sadness. Acknowledge the feeling, but don’t let it paralyze you from enjoying what life still has to offer. Grief and loneliness can be so overwhelming that some people diagnosed with terminal diseases sometimes fall into a state of depression that make them want to die early. This sense of hopelessness often stems from thoughts of self-pity, fear of becoming a burden to their loved ones, and the desire to have a sense of control over death. Wallowing in these negative thoughts will not stop time and may even cause your body to deteriorate faster.
While miracles can happen, enjoying what’s left of life despite your sickness is already a miracle in itself. Think about all the people and activities that you didn’t have much time for when you were too busy. See old friends, spend quality time with your family, and enjoy the company of people who always make you feel good. Talk to your doctor about activities that you are still allowed to do. Get into a support group, as people there are more equipped to help you cope with your illness. Facing your fears can even lead you into a sense of spiritual wholeness.
Photo Credit : jbcurio
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